Sunday, April 14, 2013

Rough Nights

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Simone is generally a happy baby.  Like any baby she has moments where she gets grumpy, but it's usually all about being hungry or tired.  At nine weeks Simone started sleeping through the night, and it was AMAZING.  Can I just say, after nine weeks of being up basically all night every night, a nine hour stretch made me felt like I could take on anything.  She was on a perfect schedule, up at 7am, consistent naps throughout the day, and asleep by 9:30pm-10pm for the night.

About three weeks ago, everything changed in our house.  We started noticing Simone drooling a ton, and gnawing on everything she could get her chubby little hands on.  I've heard the horror stories of teething and it's needless to say we're in the thick of it.

During the day, everything is good... she plays, is happy, takes naps (inconsistent & short ones, but still, naps), and is overall the sweetest girl.  But, come night time something happens.  She usually goes down OK... around the same 9:30pm time.  However, she wakes up probably (and I'm not making this up) ten times during the night.  We have good nights where she is only up twice, but those are few and far between.

It's wearing on me.  We have done the routine, teething tablets, frozen fruit, patting her, dancing her, cold teething toys, basically everything short of ramming my head into the wall, we've gladly tried.  I'm slipping in being the Mom I try so hard to be.  

During the week I wake up for her, but it's hard for Todd because he can't help but wake up, too.  He feels like a zombie when he heads off to work, and I drag my ass through my day.  I miss my scheduled peaceful sleeping baby girl.  During the weekend, Todd will usually get up and change her while I set up to nurse.

Friday night was particularly hard.  It was one of those nights where nothing was working.  I ended up (after chewing Todd out for basically just trying to help) on the couch in our front room alternating between nursing her and patting her back.  Finally around 5:30am she feel asleep on my chest.  I held her close and apologized to her for not having the answers.  Tears ran down my face as I sat there watching the glow of the sun starting to rise.  At this point, I didn't even want to sleep.

After waiting a while and making sure she was sound asleep.  I grabbed her car seat and put her in it.  I put her on the ground next to our bed in the car seat and laid my hand on her chest while I was half-way in bed.  Todd was sleeping, she was sleeping, and I was wide awake looking at her.

As I laid there trying to relax my mind I started to realize that this was not going to be the last night of tears (for her, OR myself) and that I need to toughen up if I'm going to get through this.  I thought to myself, "I'll do better tomorrow".  It's not all roses with babies.  Yet, I know I'm so lucky to have a baby who is otherwise happy and healthy.

Hopefully, one day... when she's about 30 and she has a new baby of her own she will know that it's not easy, but it's worth it.  And, that I always tried her best for her, even when I got it totally wrong.