Saturday, March 16, 2013

Bits of Seriousness

Many of you reading this know me.  For those of you who don't in December of 2011 I lost my Mom to overian cancer.
 
She was diagnosed with stage four cancer and almost four years post diagnosis, after sugeries, radation, ROUNDS AND ROUNDS of chemo... the cancer had spread to her liver and she passed.
 
I don't think I'll ever get over losing my Mom.  Because she was so young, because she was one of those people everyone connected with, and espically because she was my Mom.
 
I was lucky enough for my Mom to watch me get married to Todd.  She looked like a dream at the wedding... she was on an "off" time of chemo, doing really good, had her own hair, and was able to kick up her heels a bit.  So happy & thankful for that.  I just wish she could have met Simone.
 
After my Mom died, my whole focus changed.  I realized the only thing that matters in life is your family.  This change in my focus caused me to really examine having children.  Leading Todd & I to begin trying to have a baby.  Which lead to the greatest silver lining in our life... Simone Michelle. 
 
Being pregnant, having a brand new baby, and being a Mom for the first time is daunting.  For me, it was even more so without my Mom around.  I wished so many times I could talk to her, ask her advice, talk about what it was like when she was pregnant, or when I was first born.  But, without her passing, we wouldn't have Simone.  Sure, we might have had another baby down the road, but for it to be this exact little person we have today it had to happen when it did.  For that (and a million other things), I'll always be grateful to my Mom.
 
I miss her everyday.  I think about her all of the time.  And, I know she would be proud of the person I've become since losing her.