I'm not about that park life.

The park.  Ahhh the location of so many play dates, birthday's, and hang outs.  And I'm just totally grossed out by the giant litter box.  Ok, so I'm half kidding here.  The park isn't that bad.  We always have a good time when we go.  I'm not sure what part of me can't seem to be "all in" when it comes to the park.  Although, I'm guessing it's the the type A, control freak of a mother, who never wants her baby dirty, part.  Blerg.

Let me stop right there.  I will say that I not only let her get dirty, I encourage it.  It's a huge part of learning for her, and for me, too.  She has even put a handful of that sand in her mouth.  Of course, she quickly spat it out when she realized she was eating pebbled poison!  And, the sand... the sand is EVERYWHERE.  And, by going to the park I've signed  up for two days of finding sand on her body... even after a tubby.  Since I have a 15 month old I better get used to it, right?!  And, Mom friends, please accept the weird creature that I am.

Things are getting better at the park as she can experience more, and pulling her in the wagon on the way is bliss!  Taking Simone to the park with Landon (her big cousin) is also a great way to curb me hating on the park.  Those two can make anything fun and adorable.  So, I'm making progress on my journey to loving the park.
Give me time.

"we should go play in the grass, it's more fun..." - me

Are there any regular kid things that give you the heebie jeebies?

Ever Try to Save a Few Seconds, and Make Things Crazier?

Apples for the first time

Well, I have.  Did it yesterday!  Simone has been a little fussy about me feeding her.  Don't get me wrong, this chick loves to eat!  She eats all of her food and takes a boobie for dessert after every meal.  But, apparently I'm way too slow at getting the spoon refilled and in her mouth.  I think if I worked a two spoon tactic it might go better.  She's very independent when it comes to certain things, and she grabs the spoon from me to try to feed herself.  Problem is, her coordination just isn't there yet, so food goes every where!

Peas.  See that grab?  That's what I'm on about...

So, what's a genius like me to do?  I've heard from Moms about these food pouches that kids love.  And, I'm such a Rhodes scholar I thought, PROBLEM SOLVED!  Let's give Simone the chance to feed herself!  Entering Target I sashayed towards the baby food section.  Just full of myself thinking look at me... promoting independence in my sweet girl, who's far superior to other seven moth old babes who need to be spoon fed.  Motherhood has a way of not only knocking you off of your high horse, but it kicks you several times after you've fallen into a pile of horse "S".

Oh, look at that sweet face.  So smart... so wonderfully behaved.  After showing her how to squeeze it a few times, and her doing it perfect (perfect = a few dribbles) I was completely full of myself.  More like full of something else.

She was telepathically telling me... "Mom, this is better."  We have this "connection" you know... 

Engage palm to face.  

I walk away to grab a bib, and suddenly hear a loud squeal followed by banging.  I look over and she's slamming the pouch on the table of her high chair.  Running towards her she's splashing me (and our walls, curtains, and dog) with apricots & sweet potatoes.  After I grabbed the pouch I had to snap this picture.  That little monkey was in hog heaven.  

 Ryder (our dog) was already running around taking care of the mess on the floor.  Kids love dogs, and dogs sure as shit love kids.  I had to post this picture on my Facebook & Instagram, because I had proudly posted her feeding herself moments earlier.  It was like Mommy karma.  Simone learned a bit about sarcasm, too.  As I told her "I really WANTED to wash the walls & curtains anyways", with an added Liz Lemon eye roll.  

And, you KNOW the cheap-o in me came out.  I scraped up every bit of food that landed on her or the high chair that I could and spoon fed her.  Don't worry, I went extra slow to try and teach her something.  Kidding of course.  

So, for the record, those pouches are pretty cool.  But I'm taping up plastic tarps next time... or doing what I should be doing, sitting there helping her keep it (somewhat) clean.

Hope you all got a kick out of it.  My best friend called me and could barley breathe when she saw the pics!

Simone's Six Month Favorites

I figured I better get on it and post Simone's six month favorite things before she turns seven months in a few days.  Seriously... seven months?!  Insane in the membrane.

Anyways, Simone's really into slamming toys together right now.  She's learning some major cause and effect when she accidentally hits herself in the head with one.  When Todd comes home from work, I'm always telling him... don't worry about the mark on her cheek, or the scratch across her face...she was playing rough today.  Wild child.

Because of this need to slam everything around she's LOVING her exersaucer.  I posted about it here.  If you are interested in one, they have a zillion different types, but we got her the Bright Stars one available on that link... but we scored ours from Craigslist.  Retail is a naughty word in this house.

All of her past favorites still apply... Sophie is still her lovey.  Can something that's a chew toy be a lovey?  Well, it's her baby for sure.  But, now that she's very interactive she's taken to stuffed animals.  

She especially loves her "Violet" by LeapFrog.  The coolest thing about her is you can program you baby's name into Violet.  You can also program songs, colors, favorite foods, etc.  You do this by hooking up Violet to your computer through a USB cord that comes with her, it takes you to the LeapFrog website to program.  This means, when I finally hit my limit of hearing "Wheels on the Bus" I can head over to their website and take that song off her repertoire. 

Simone also LOVES board books.  Any book she can chew on, throw, and hang onto she really loves right now.  I totally understand now why parents are always carrying around books that look like the dog ate them.  I am now that parent.  There is one book in particular that her Doctor gave us (for free) that she's obsessed with.  She didn't get the memo to love the books Mommy spent $$ on more... isn't that always the case?

And, finally... although it's not qualified as a toy... Simone is most interested in ANYTHING YOU HAVE.  This includes jewelry, menus, forks, napkins, straws, pens, wallets, iPhones and watches.  She is at the grab anything in her reach stage... so that's a whole new level of fun.  

She definitely knows what she likes, and doesn't like these days.  Her little personality is so funny, and sweet... but it's also very stubborn.  Hummm... do we blame that one on Mom or Dad?

Making the Move to the Crib

I know there are so many parents who struggle with babies sleeping, where they sleep, how, etc..  I know we are not alone in the quest to find the best fit for our family.  Every family has to do things their way, and on their time.  If you have advice, I'd love to hear it!

Since Simone was home we have always slept in the same room.  At the very beginning we would sleep out in the living room so that Todd could get a full nights sleep.  She has the BEST pack & play (a gift from Todd's Aunt, Uncle, & cousins in Michigan) which we will forever be grateful for.  It has an "infant sleeper" and she slept like a dream in that.  I seriously give this thing 10 out of 5 stars!!  It's been our home base for taking care of Simone from day one.  We are lucky to have a tiny baby, who at six months, still fits in the newborn napper! 

Graco Pack n Play with Newborn Napper

After her sleeping got into longer stretches, Simone & I moved back in with Todd into our room.  Around four and a half months she started waking a few more times during the night.  Our doc attributed this to teething, so it's been a little harder on Todd having the whole family in one room.  Luckily my job allows me to stumble around half-awake in jammies all day if need be.  His, does not.

Things are looking up on sleeping these days, so we have been talking more about moving Simone into her room at night.  Does this freak out every parent?  Or am I some kind of type A control freak weirdo (doesn't sound like me at all, right!?)?

We've been working hard to get her "used" to her room.  I LOVE her room (check it out here), and I think eventually she will, too.  She takes naps in there both in her crib and in her bassinet.  The only issue is when she wakes up in there she screams loud enough to shake the walls.  I'm not sure if she just isn't familiar with the room yet, or what.

Nap Time

I will admit I love having her in our room.  It's so nice for her to be close, so if I want to check her she's right there.  Or, more practically when she wakes during the night I'm able to just pick her up, change her, and nurse her right away.

I think the transition will take place soon enough, and she's only this young once.  I'm going to enjoy the time she's close and keep working on getting her in her own room.  

Dear Six Month Old Simone

Dear Simone,

Today you are six months old.  You are half way from the first day you arrived in the world and only half way from your first birthday.  When you were born I could not prepare myself for how much I would love you, or how much being your Mom would mean to me.  My Mom would tell me when I was young that I would never understand how much she loved me until I had a child of my own, and she was right.  

Your beautiful eyes see the world in a way I can only imagine.  You examine everything around you and from a young age have been acutely aware of your surroundings.  I watch you watching your toys, other children, and your Daddy & I.  I see that your mind is moving faster than mine, and I keep that thought with me as I go about my day.  Right now, you are learning so much, so fast.  Though, you won't remember this time when you are older, what goes on now will play a role in who you are forever.  You are smart.

Playing on your tummy, rolling over, and sitting up.  Your strength is astounding.  Passing your toys from hand to hand, and playing with your Cousins & friends.  Your nickname isn't monkey for just any old reason.  You wiggle and move any chance you get.  You're no longer a tiny infant.  Doctor Judy says you'll be on the move in no time.  I'm just trying to cherish every last moment that you are as little as you are right now.  You are strong and growing up.

You have your very own way about you, and your personality is beautiful.  Everyone who meets you knows it, and tells Daddy and me.  Your smile is infectious, and your laugh makes me feel more joy than I knew possible.  I know as you grow up you will know the power of being a social person.  Remember to include others who are on the shy side.  I know you will, because you are kind.  

Our life before you is a bit of a fuzzy memory by now.  It's hard to think of when you weren't with us, because it feels as if you've always been a part of our lives.  But, six months ago at this exact time of day Daddy and I were just staring at you hoping that we could be as good of parents as you deserve.  

I'll end this by telling you we are so proud of you, we are so in awe of you, and we are so excited for what life holds for you.

Love you forever and for always,

Mama

Simone's Carte Du Jour

When did this happen?  Our precious baby can now eat like a big kid (kind of).  It's bittersweet.  I love being the person who can feed her, and in that same breath I say hallelujah because I get somewhat of a break (can I get a "hooray, beer"?).  As I posted in A Regular Girl's Breastfeeding Experience I love nursing this sweetie.  Seriously, it makes me feel so great to give her everything she needs.  BUT, a big but (like in the Sir Mix A lot song...) watching Simone devourer new foods is pretty freakin' sweet.

Everything she tries has the same response.  It's hilarious.  First we nurse for a few minutes, it gets her into the "eating" mode, and then we eat some real (aka really mushy) food.  She eagerly opens her mouth, dives into the spoon, and gives me a face & look as if I just fed her a lemon topped with Sriracha!  Post lemon-sriracha look she dive bombs the spoon again realizing that she now loves the new food.  

Her first (beyond rice cereal...which is clearly just really thick boobie milk) food was avocado.  We love it in this house, so clearly we are trying to gear her towards our tastes.  First bite, I was thinking commmmmonnnn guac girl.  By the second it was clear we created a smart child.

Yay, Dad... I can get DOWN!

The Progression of Carrots

Bananas are a big MEH...

The only food that she had a slightly different reaction to was strawberries... it was a, shall we say, thoughtful response to that sweet taste...

See what I mean?

I'll keep posting about her first foods as we head further along this road.  So far I've been making them at home, but I'll fully admit I bought a few of the jarred baby food for "on the go" meals.  It's nice to have something as a stand-by... HELLO judge-y eyes, I see you over there! ;) 

Can I just add, this girl really is a character.  My Mom used to call me a "ham" when I was a kid.  I would always play up for the crowd.  She always swore that someday I would be an actress or comedian... what do ya know, Mom... I just wanted to be like you! :)  That's exactly what I see in Simone.  She's so social.  She loves strangers (something we will have to work on...) and has to chat with people while we are out and about.  I wore her to the grocery store the other night, and you would think it was just her walking around.  Every parent says this (as they darn well should), but this girl is something SPECIAL!

Who, ME!?

A Regular Girl's Breastfeeding Experience

I'll start this post by saying... I completely respect how any Mother chooses to feed their sweet bambinos.  Prior to Simone's arrival I decided to take the path of breastfeeding.

 

I'm pretty stubborn and if someone suggests I CAN'T do something then I'm likely to do it until I'm a pro.  So, pre-due date I read probably three books front to back, and took a class on breast feeding your beeb.  Now, I'm not saying those really taught me anything.  But, I knew going into it that nursing isn't always easy, there will be challenges, and I should get ready to BE FLEXIBLE.

 

Truly, I think that's the biggest part of being a Mom.  Or, really I should say a successful human being.  Prior to Simone I struggled with flexibility, and didn't embrace change much.  Having her has made me tougher and more bendy than ever before.

 

Anyways, back to the boob at hand...

 

After all the prep work, the day came.  Simone was born and within twenty minutes of her arrival the nurse handed her to me and said let's feed this baby.  I was so awkward, it wasn't like practicing with a doll at ALL!  But I put her up to the nip and she just went for it.  I give her all the credit in our nursing success the first night.  She had no issues with her latch and she just seemed to know exactly what to do.  Me on the other hand, not so much.  It took me a while to get her in a comfortable hold.  My advice on this is nurse as much as possible the first few days.  Try holding them in different positions until you find the right one.  Try a boppy, try no boppy, try your rolled up trusty hoodie for goodness sakes.  Find what works for YOU.

 

Leaving the hospital I felt really good about breastfeeding!  Sure, I was a bit raw as I've never had another human being feeding from me before, but I felt confident.  Cut to the next night at home... engorgement.  Ugh.  And, if you don't already know, let me be the one to give you this great piece of news... you get this whether you nurse or not, so HA, we're all in this together!  That was a long night for her and I.  Never before have I seen my boobs grow to the point of ridiculousness from collar bone to belly button.  But, through that night we just stuck with it, I nursed her for hours.  Struggling with the latch because my boobs were like rock hard bowling balls.  Sure, there were tears, frozen bags of peas at 3am, and waking Todd up to just hold her while I cry in the shower.  It wasn't glamorous, but the most important part was we got through it.

 

The first few weeks breastfeeding can be pretty demanding.  They eat often and for long periods of time.  I felt myself wanting to give up many times, but pushed through.  There was a time around her three month mark where it seemed like I had been nursing every two hours for the past 90 days.  I decided to try supplementing with formula.  I checked with our doctor and she gave us the go-ahead.  In that time, Simone probably took five bottles of formula.  She doesn't dig it...that's for sure.  So after that I went back to 100% nursing. 

 

And, you know what?  It got better.  Time between feedings got longer.  I also learned to time her feedings better, to pump while she was napping so that I can be away from time to time, and to love and appreciate this short window where I connect with her like no one else can.  I'll fully admit, it was hard.  I wanted to break, many times.  But, I'm here to tell you if you want to do it, stick with it.  See a lactation specialist if you are struggling, and know that I don't know anyone who regrets trying.

 

A few HUMBLE suggestions... 

1. Buy a good pump!  I have a Medela Pump In Style Pump... yes, it's fricken expensive, but there are programs to get one through your hospital and some insurance companies even cover this cost!  Get some milk storage bags, too!
2. Get a crap-load of Lanolin nipple cream (FYI a crap-load translates to a tube...yes, it's enough!). 
3. Buy some nursing pads (reusable are great, but have several sets) because you will leak for a bit. 
4. Frozen peas are a must for soreness the first week (or month if you're me).  Warm showers help, too!
5. If you are struggling see a lactation specialist. 
6. Drink tons of water... then drink some more.  After you've finished that, have one more glass. :) 
7. There are also lactation cookies, teas, and candies.  I've never tried them, but I've heard good things! 
8. Take a breastfeeding class, it prepares you for some things.  Also, take that class with a grain of salt, because I left mine thinking our teacher was a judgemental meanie head.
9. Explain to your partner how important this is to you.  Hopefully he (or she) will be supportive.  I swear I can't tell you how many times Todd talked me "off the ledge".  It makes a huge difference to have a cheerleader! 
10. Finally, be stubborn, but be flexible.  Some babies experience tongue tie, nipple confusion, etc., etc., etc.  Don't beat yourself up if you have to step outside of your "plan".  I laugh now when I think of all of my "plans" for having this baby girl.  I think the best advice I ever received was DO WHAT WORKS FOR  YOU.  Don't let anyone make you feel bad, guilty, or question what you think is best for your child.  Let them use their own children as guinea pigs. 

I in NO WAY am any kind of an expert.  I'm just sharing with you what got us through those rough patches.  I'm not a militant nursing mom who is going to give you mean shifty eyes.  I'm just a normal girl, who wanted to nurse her baby and I'm not afraid to tell you it's hard, but WONDERFUL.

Bits of Seriousness

Many of you reading this know me.  For those of you who don't in December of 2011 I lost my Mom to overian cancer.

 

She was diagnosed with stage four cancer and almost four years post diagnosis, after sugeries, radation, ROUNDS AND ROUNDS of chemo... the cancer had spread to her liver and she passed.

 

I don't think I'll ever get over losing my Mom.  Because she was so young, because she was one of those people everyone connected with, and espically because she was my Mom.

 

I was lucky enough for my Mom to watch me get married to Todd.  She looked like a dream at the wedding... she was on an "off" time of chemo, doing really good, had her own hair, and was able to kick up her heels a bit.  So happy & thankful for that.  I just wish she could have met Simone.

 

After my Mom died, my whole focus changed.  I realized the only thing that matters in life is your family.  This change in my focus caused me to really examine having children.  Leading Todd & I to begin trying to have a baby.  Which lead to the greatest silver lining in our life... Simone Michelle. 

 

Being pregnant, having a brand new baby, and being a Mom for the first time is daunting.  For me, it was even more so without my Mom around.  I wished so many times I could talk to her, ask her advice, talk about what it was like when she was pregnant, or when I was first born.  But, without her passing, we wouldn't have Simone.  Sure, we might have had another baby down the road, but for it to be this exact little person we have today it had to happen when it did.  For that (and a million other things), I'll always be grateful to my Mom.

 

I miss her everyday.  I think about her all of the time.  And, I know she would be proud of the person I've become since losing her.